Darwin s nightmare: The absurd zoology of Wow

The Island of Giant Insects (Japanese: 巨蟲列島, Hepburn: Kyochū Rettō) is a Japanese manga collection created by Yasutaka Fujimi and also shown by REDICE and later on by Shu Hirose. It was published online on Akita Shoten s Champ Cross internet system from October 2014 to May 2018, and also on Manga Cross from December 2018 to March 2019. A sequel, labelled Die! The Island of Giant Insects, started on Manga Cross in April 2019. A beginning original computer animation DVD (OAD) adjustment produced by Passione was released in June 2019 and a movie adjustment premiered in January 2020.

And that s why, my dear student colleagues, I conclude that the gentle Walhai must be preserved before extinction. The aging professor restores his monocular and nods his audience way. Thank you for attending this lecture of the university to Sturmwind. Afterwards, a champagne reception takes place in the auditorium next door. I will soon come to you.

The room rises under general sustainable and steamed applause. A smell of old paper is in the air and amber sunbeams glow in powdery dust clouds that dance up and down in the air of the lecture hall. Just as the professor deserted the hall and want to approve a well-deserved glass of sparkling wine, a squat figure from the shadows of a ruptured wooden beam. The professor gets and devotes unwilling back: He faces a dwarf, which carries an old groove of the size of an infantry contactor on the shoulder.

His magnificent tropical helmet, instructs claw tracks that continue on his face in three thouding scars. His clothes smells of old meat bait. The little finger of his left hand is missing. One of the eyes is blind. His growing fear ignoring the professor: Um, can I help you? I ... I think the staff entrance is in the south wing Valer Lord. Humbug! The professor blinks. Like mine? A growling rolls out of the barrel-like chest of the dwarf from the barrel-like chest.

Humbug I say! The whole lecture was Kodo-Dung! Okay, I think this conversation long enough a knotted dwarf finger appears lightning fast before the nose of the professor, which can only react with a confused squint. Whalehie are not gentle giants - they are monsters! Monsters I say! The harsh voice of the dwarf pulls the first glances of further studied and the professor wags hectically with his hands. We can also discuss that quieter, but they are wrong. Walhie could not attack anyone even if they wanted. They feed themselves from Krill and other microorganisms that they filter with their gills out of the water. The dwarf vibrates precisely before indignation. Look at him, the floating war criminal: The monstrous whale shark is similar to his peaceful earth cousin in his external! Source: buffed You fool! If you do not pay attention, the whalehai will be your arms and legs individually! So Kiemen does not work he will filter you the soul out of the body! Meanwhile balancing at the edge of the panic, the professor resolves his perplexed colleagues with a convulsive smile, while he waves the contemporary babbling dwarf under physical high buttset from the hall.

As the heavy wooden door strikes, you still hear a quieter voice outside the auditorium, which roars something of horned horses and tentacle cats . The professor turns the professor to his colleagues, engages in passing one of the champagne glasses and crashes it down. After a short touch of his an attachment, the world looks much better. It would be more beautiful if the flower-white academic world would be spotted by the findings of practitioners. He smiles his colleagues. Where were we?

How to confused David Attenborough

Sometimes it is important to be pleased about their own arithmetic suspension of disbelief : the whole is an automatic mental acrobatics that hide you in video games illogical or inappropriate things and leaves any vacancies routing . You can eat first aid boxes in a haps and make your wounds? Video game. You can gradually charge your half empty weapon and keeps the rest of the ammunition in the magazine? Also a classic video game. Shoot weapons without recharge? Yep. Video game. No bowel movement?

Defined video game. In Azeroth, the whole thing is also very easy, because at the latest after the first honeymooners are gone with a new MMORPG, you no longer see your character anyway, but pay a pile that takes on other numbers so that your own numbers are growing. So far, so well known. However, if we switch our video games logic for a moment to standby and instead use our genuine logic logic, from the colorful wildlife azeroths with once a nightmare parade, as would be in good hands in the paintings Salvador Dalis. For example, there are no predators without saber teeth, almost no one in the animal kingdom can close his own mouth and grow everywhere Horns, where no horns should be. Darwin s nightmare: The absurd zoology of WOW (3) Source: buffed In order to drive the whole thing to the top, the unwritten fantasy rules are also overridden, because in addition to scrubbing, crocolismics and zhevras is the mutual cow . We throw a not very serious look at the wildlife of WOW (Buy now 14.99 €) and the ecological niches who take their inhabitants. After all, there must be a reason that the Titans have obviously diced when they distributed the different species on the continents! So your monocle sets up, because we now hike in the footsteps David Attenboroughs - and those Nesingwaries. It s Wow, so of course your flint should not be missing.

The Walhai: Terror from the depth

In the real world, Walhai is the definition of a gentle giant: as the largest fish in the world (he is not a whale) he feeds from Krill and other microorganisms, which he filters out of the water with the help of his gills. The huge mouth of the colossus looks scary, but even divers who advised in his way, w e r d e n at most carefully pushed out of the way. In fact, whale sharks are known in protected areas for play with divers by tracking and raising them for a while on their back ride . The coolest: Whalehie own a 15 cm (!) Thick skin and are protected from virtually all predators. The thing that turns his laps in Vashj ir has no similarity with the loving colossals of the real world; on the contrary.

Although the Titanic killers resemble their earthly colleagues like an egg of the other, but attentive observers discover a small but fine difference: the whale shark azeroths own teeth! For all the abundance, the bites are wrong and stubby, while the rest of the Schlund remains unchanged and obviously serves to suck large amounts of water and sipping microorganisms through his gills. In contrast to the maximum twelve meter long genuine, whale sharks, the murder whale shark is great as a small town and unstoppable as death.

Woe to the error that makes the mistake with activated chromium time to venture to Vashj ir. Blizzard tried to recapture the magic of the devil s cherry to Cataclysm times and unleashed something that could no longer control. At that time, whole slaughter trains died in front of the beasty gills of the malignant boss fish. When the Walhai met, he murdered your Avatar, deleted the character, uninstalled Wow, and Personally rang to your front door to kick your dog. We mean it s serious: Stay away from the whalehai! Since we could now adequately warn you, we consider next to which ecological niche the Walhai occupies in Azeroth and the answer is very simple: murder. His niche is murder.

Think about it: Everything about the Walhai resembles his earth s brother exactly, from his physique to the pine and the visible filter lamellae in his Schlund. The only distinguishing is its enormous size, its aggression and whole eleven useless teeth (we have counted). The puzzle solution is that the teeth are only there to ward off enemies and sowing fear under the gameschaft!

He also has no attack animation - the mere presence of this monster sucks your life directly from the body. The dwarf in the intro was right: he filters your soul, until nothing left of you remains and then hovers, succumbed to your suffering, with the only animation he has, like a thick, mass-murdering Zeppelin. The whale shark has no niche. He is an absolute incarnation of death, which himself brings our Obstoberböseweight enemy Sargeras to leave the room at their sight.

The bird helicopter Hunter players nod, probably entertained: Almost all birds in Wow suffer from an incurable case of helicopter wings. At the moment you tame them, fly next to you on the spot like a Harrier Fight Jet. Standed stone eagle beat like the berserkers with the wings to keep their weight a meter above the ground on the spot. To shorten the whole: that does not work. The poor eagles must never end up in your companion. We say: Let the poor fluttermen sit on our shoulder! Source: buffed While there is great birds like the Harrier mentioned in the beginning (German: Weihe ), which can float with the so-called vibrating flight at one point - but this serves primarily for a search and not as standby mode for air parking . To hover for a long time, the body must be designed from scratch and the best example of this is the river Klein Kolibri. Of course, it has a reason why hummingbirds are so small: their mass is low enough for them to, supported by a special wing strike and their machine gun circulation, can float longer at the place. The solution for the misery is so easy: NPC birds can sit down in the wild without any problems! Give us a Falkner animation , where the birds take place on our glove or even the shoulder. That looks cool at the same time and solves the problem.

Predators: Mouth to, it pulls!

Speaking of whales: Have you ever noticed that practically all predators in Wow have a terrible pine lock? No matter if it is wolves, bears or robbercats - no carnivore is able to close his mouth more than a second. Maybe, for example, bears work on azeroth like whales in the sea: they walk with open mouth through the forest and feed themselves from the things that stumble them into the slut. Maybe you own a cartilent filter in your throat with which you filter mosquitoes and other insects from the air to thrive despite your pine lock? Sounds like nonsense? Darwin s nightmare: The absurd zoology of WOW (1) Source: buffed Is correct! But you know us, in case of doubt we rely on the wisdom of the great philosopher. Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park: The life takes its way, it conquers new territories, it overcomes all the barriers, whether painful or dangerous. Nature is a bit wonderful. If we had to invalidate this theory, we would point to the chewing tools of the average WOW predator or angere eater. All caterpillars have saber teeth. All wolves have saber teeth. All hippos have saber teeth and also a thick rock spanner. The Horns of Zhevras Horse horns are superfluous: There are no big Zhevra herds that would have to defend against predators, both sexes wear horns and they are fast enough to run away from dangers - why the horns?

All that is just somehow close to meat and is not a bear, has huge, completely unnecessary saber teeth! Coincidentally in the throat flying birds would bounce off these murder tools. To explain: Saber tooth of our world not only had huge fishing teeth, but also pine, which could open extremely far and derived from skeleton finds massive neck muscles, with which they could support their bite. On primitive worlds such as Draenor, huge catch teeth make sense, because somehow predators have to come to the soft tissue of neck and stomach, if all herbivores around them (and the plants themselves) have armored plates and an absurd thick skin. On Draenor, the omnipresent huge teeth give the most sense. Here everything is somehow armored; Somehow you have to crack the thick skin yes Source: buffed On the other hand, on Azeroth, the development of saber teeth is not execious, because there are enough normal inheritors around to do without thirty centimeters long sabers. But hey, says that once a troll! Orcs have the apology, after all, the excuse come from Draenor, but trolls have heaps, which would be most likely to be comparable to those of wild boar - if wild boars would have teeth that are so great that they are neither decent, defenden enemies or even only could pull a sweater over the head. Seriously, introduces you a troll that strives a chain shirt about the head. If animal welfare has freed him an hour later, it becomes clear why most trolls are leather processors.

The problem with giant insects

The danger of the qiraj becomes significantly lower, if one thinks that the insects probably collapsed under their weight Source: buffed Everyone knows the situation: you just want to briefly bring a bag of milk from the grocery store at the corner, there attacks an old God and accuse you with fists full of giant insects and other crawls. The problem is so widespread, which are not only affected insects. Arachnids like spiders and scorpions are also in absolutely ridiculous size and biodiversity in Azeroth! Not only does that make the phobicist throw with large, heavy stones to their screen - it is also illogical.

The problem with giant insects is that it can not be blunted with the explanation just fantasy when you are busy a little. The reason for this lies in the physical structure of insects and the gravity prevailing on Azeroth. We explain why, let us only show our smart-bad glasses. So, let s go! Point 1: We assume that a ground-like gravity prevails on Azeroth. Our characters fall in a similar way, they have a similar physique and a humanoid form. Azeroth is earth-like. Point 2: Insects have so-called exoskeletes, which simultaneously function for structural stabilization and as a defense apparatus.

The big the insect, the thicker the exoskeleton. However, in insects that become greater than a cat or a small dog, the exoskelet is no longer proportionate between evolutionary costs and benefits, as it becomes easy to wear his shape and at the same time moving enable. But what about Japanese spider crabs? Let s hear your objection. Good question!

The spider crabs (phobists be warned before a Google search) are so great that they look like creatures from a Lovecraft nightmare - and can only explicitly support their size because they live underwater and thus part of the attraction through natural Balancing off. Added to this is the growth process of beings that use exoskelet: to grow, they have to skill and exchange their old skeleton against a new one. The new skeleton has to cure first and during this time you have to get along completely without supporting an exoskeleton. Of the puzzle solution: maybe we are all just windings! That would explain the giant insects and the silly giant swords simultaneously! Source: buffed

... and the solution!

As the last death shock towards huge fantasy insects, we carry out the need for a circulatory system that comes with the new size. To explain: When a living thing grows, its surface increases more slowly than its volume. Small insects therefore do not require a complicated circulatory system because they can easily supply their tissue over the skin with oxygen. If the insect grows to the size of a typical WoW monstrous, it also needs a correspondingly complex circulatory system that would be high probably on one or more pairs of lungs.

The Tauren and the Love Cattle Be honest, you have already thought about it: Tauren are on Kalimdor domestic cows, on the other hand, in the eastern kingdom. The manner is obvious, as was the humanoid version of BOS Taurus completely changed the continent without leaving the smallest rest of its kind?

The simplest explanation: Taruren do not come from cows. But then we have a Missing Ancestor situation in which Tauren has no direct ancestors. Another explanation: Maybe one day the Horden Horse Horns are simply moved with man, woman and child because they like to eat steak, but do not want to look their ancestors in their eyes.

The proof of this is the BBQ hut in Thunderbluff - a complete move together with a nutritional change on poultry is rather unlikely, but we have seen in wow more crazier. So we conclude: The Tauren are the result of a culinary peoples hike along with a species-wide refusal to accept a vegan lifestyle. Thank you, you may send us to our doctoral title by mail. So we summarize an unsafe-handing qiraj tank drone, which rolls like a sack of fully damp cement from your exoskeleton and then can only give a soft asthmatic whistle while waiting for days to move back can. Not very impressive. But stop! Maybe there is a possibility of how it all could work? If you have read our article Alu helmets: the best WoW conspiracy theories , then you know that there is a variant, work with the giant insects: We are all only ten centimeters!

This at the same time explains how to give giant insects and how we can swing swingers who own the size of a park bench. You can fall 30 meters deep without dying? Sure - because your mass is not the same as the, a normal-sized humans! Boom, we drop the micro. If you will soon come back to someone with giant insects do not work , this explanation gives him. Grandpa Alfons, are you?! We are not sure why Tauren developed on Kalimdor if your open view of licher vertices in the Eastern Kingdom Source: buffed

little logic, have fun

And swingbeldiwupp, we turn on our willingness suspension of disbelief again: Hardly anything in WOW gives evolutionally meaning. Of course that does not have to do that either. In contrast to the plot of the game, the wildlife does not necessarily need an internal consistency because it only represents the backdrop, before which we rescue worlds, beat gods and collect and collect twenty bears. Even if we have to wait a long time that predators can close their mouth or land birds, we like the dented biodiversity of Azeroth very much.

For we are honest: an ecosystem, which is best combined with Gronn, Hydra, River Best, Skunk , makes a lot of fun - and if it is only because you get your hair regularly and with your finger This shows. So catch your flint and breaks up a few evolutionary dead ends into your items. Nesingwary would be proud of you.

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